Jessica Adams 2026/04/29 Jessica Adams 2026/04/29

Let’s explore a little.

Let’s start by getting one thing straight first: Sex is NOT a drive, it is built around a desire system.

There are many things that steer our lives into one direction or another. Some we can influence, others we can’t. I think life has a lot to offer to make us feel good, seen and alive. Indulging in those pleasures helps to eventually arrive at a point of feeling ready for hot sex. Let’s explore that a little.

*It is not always the most obvious that is the most appealing.*

Life has a lot to give. It’s just that sometimes, we need to stop waiting for the big moments and tap into the pleasures all around us instead.

What I have learned as a mother in a long-term relationship is that life has the capacity to numb us in the mundane, while being completely unpredictable at the same time. In short: a mess. Feeling excited in a messy life is hard enough, getting ourselves to feel hot, irresistible and in the mood for sex may be too far a stretch.

Getting stuck in the routine is easy and not necessarily always a bad thing. Structure builds security and can help us find purpose. What it does not do is sit with us in the quiet moments of longing. In the moments when we ask ourselves what it would take. If what we have will forever be enough. Turning our switch from okay to incredibly, fully alive does not have to start with sex. In fact, I believe that there are many other things that will help us regulate our nervous system, many of them so much closer than one would think …

Sex Drive started out as a podcast. Short recordings talking about all things sex, while being stuck in the most boring thing Cape Town has to offer: traffic. It will continue to do just that – bring a little hot talk into your day –, while at the same time focusing on exploration. With each episode, I want to take you on a journey of exploring this glorious city I get to live in and share all the wonderful pleasures I find all around me.

Because if there is one thing I have learned on my path of not only finding, but actually having good sex in my life, it is this: If I don’t take time looking after myself and tapping into the things that fill my cup, there is fokkol (also known as: none at all) sex happening in my house. We need to be a lot more intentional with how we structure our lives and relationships. Perhaps you too will have to retrain your nervous system out of overwhelm first and that is okay. Just remember that excitement and joy does not find itself, it is waiting to be discovered and unlocked.

Let me show you what turns on my pleasure switch, besides for sharing some of the exciting topics that come with the work I do.